trigger warning: thoughts of suicide, a very personal post considering my mental heath and state of thoughts
It’s been two months since I realised that something is really wrong with my brain.
For the past few years, I’ve been dealing with thoughts that at times would just drive me crazy as it pounds through my head like some sort of drill. My parents would say that’s just me being the over-thinker I am. They aren’t wrong. But they aren’t completely right either.
It’s been quite dusty here. Apologies for that. Life has been a hurricane. Fall semester just started so here I am, trying to distract myself from life responsibilities when I can.
My mom used to teach me that if we were going to someone’s house, we should always bring something along with us to give them. Let it be food, or some gifts that would make the host happy. “There’s a saying that those who come and visit people would bring prosperity and goodness to the host.” That’s what she would use to say.
… That actually has nothing to do with what I want to write today. Which is last Tuesday’s Sendai trip.
I was really quite hesitant upon writing this that I delayed writing about it for 3 months. (But by now, most people would probably know that I am indeed, an idiot and I have faced my consequences in March.)
Back in prep school, my main wish and spirit booster to go further my studies in Japan was so that I can go to Seoul by my first year in university. Those who are reading this who are my close friends probably know how obsessed I was with Kpop. I still listen to it, just that my ruthlessness in spending my money has decreased drastically. Thank goodness.
I’m going off-topic, aren’t I? Anyway, I went to Seoul during my birthday, which was during the late February. (Or also known as the peak of the virus in South Korea.)
Haven’t been around to translate song lyrics. (Actually, I had done one, but that’s a personal story.) Anyway, I always liked Secret Garden since it’s Korean release, but when it’s re-released in a language you understand, it somehow hits home even stronger. I truly don’t know if there’s anyone who have translated it yet….. (I mean, the lyrics are similar so….) Plus, I did say I want to try translating stuffs even better so……. here you go.
Mistakes might occur and if they do, feel free to message me politely in the comments!
Well, at least I’m going strong with my determination to post once a month, I guess? I’ve been super down in the dumps lately that my creative writing juice has gone to far worse than empty, if there is such a thing. There’s so many things that inspire me to write, but the second I open an empty notepad; nothing comes out. Empty.
Thus today we’ll be going back to basics and try to write a long post about my current life updates here in the Japan.
Spring has come, but this time- with a deadly smoke running along with it.